i hope you get to read this.

I’m sorry for a lot of things. But most of all that I never got the chance to tell you that, no matter what happens between the both of us, I’ll never be anything but grateful for every moment I spent with you. I cant count how many times i told you i loved you, but now i dont even know what love means.
So as i fumble for the right words, i know that i love you isnt it. Thank you, is.
It’s possible my heart will always ache for you.  It’s possible that when you find the one you love, I will sit in my room all day and cry, and it’s possible that you will be able to say yes, to the question I’ve been waiting for you to answer since November. I told you i wasnt going to sit around and wait, but im going too. I dont even want to, but my heart isn’t ready to drop you.

thank you.

I have changed so much, but i wish you knew how much you changed me. i wonder if i changed you,and that  if your life is different because of me, because mine is. you taught me so much, and once a day there is something in my life that reminds me of you. You made me stronger, you made my heart stronger.

home is where the heart is

its brain dump time again.

Just a few thoughts in my head:

1. i miss connexus SO BAD. Im always the person to remind my friends, and my grandmother that “every church that talks about God, is home” but, I figured out today, that yeah every church has God. But not ever church has my friends.

2. I looove dailybooth.com look me up! follow me! “sarebeth”

3.  I am amazed on what you can put on mr noodles to give them a different flavour. lemon juice, cesear salad dressing and parmasean cheese are my top faves

4. i am unreaal stoked for the hannah montana. it looks deep and really exciting. Im even going to see it by myself.

5. as dumb as it is. Paris Hilton is on the hunt for a new best friend in England. And im actually addicted to the tv show

6. something exciting is happening next april

7.  im writing an article for the I.E girl webzine. Look for it soon

8. First year is almost over! its full speed assignments and essays time.

Thats all i got really. whats new in your life ?

tired and…inspired?

someone told me that i inspire them.

A lot of people inspire me. My mom, Cindy, Pat.D, Sned The girls from Carried away, the list is endless really. someone has done something in my life to make me go “whoa, thats cool..that makes me think”

For one of the first times in my life, my friend told me on msn that ” you inspire me. your so involved with your church, and you knowso much about who you are and what you believe in”

whoa.

thank you

the shack, the mystery book, a trip home, tumblr and cardigans.

Hellooo!

So i bought a book yesterday. Well, honestly speaking my grandma bought it for me. Lots of people I know had read it, and my grandma had read it and everyone i knew said it was incredible. So I go home last night, and open up “The Shack” by William Young. When I started reading it, I was horrified. Reading about the sad story of how 6 year old Missy had be captured and murdered, and how her killer “The Little Lady Killer” leaves nothing but a lady bug pin, symbolizing the child has been murdered. By 3am, I was reading the part where Missy’s father discovers her blood stained dress and by that time all I wanted to do was sleep but a) I wanted to know what happened and b) i was too afraid to turn off my light! When I was younger I had this crazy fear that my biological father was going to kidnap me, and I had crazy thoughts racing through my head. I wont tell you what happens, but I did stay up till around 6 this morning finishing the book, and the ending is soo touching and amazing. If your going to read any book this year, it should be this one. I’m even willing to mail it to you if you cant find a copy.

BUT! in exchange, I have been searching for the book “Prayers from Bobby” Ive checked the chapters computer and its available NO WHERE in central ontario. If you have this book, I need to borrow it! I want to read it so bad.

So I’m at home because i had an eye appointment, having contacts is tricky! I dropped one down the drain, and it burns when i have to put them in! am i ever going to get used to them!?

2 more things. I tumbl now, “sarebeth.tumblr.com” and i really like cardigans

enjoy!

the top 5 reasons why i never blog anymore.

1. my life, is pretty darn boring.

2. when i do have something to say, its probably just about how much i miss being home.

3. im actually really busy with school work.

4.  nothing really fantastic is happening in the world for me to review

5. my room smells and i cant stand being in  it for longer than half an hour and blogging normally takes me being alone, and quiet for about 2 hours.

i sorry

r-week, you are the savior of my sanity.

this blog is slightly similar to my partner in crime, my bestie and a student with me at fleming college. see links in the side and click “Gillian”

so im home. and as of today i have been home for a week! Tiegaan, my roomate was up from last Thursday – Monday and i enjoyed spending time with her in Barrie and Hillsdale showing her just how lame my life is.
How much am i loving home right now?
SO MUCH!
Tuesday and Wednesday went by in a blurr, but this morning.. I woke up, pretty late..had a bowl of cereal in bed, did some painting, and then lounged around in my basement and watched tv. Ive gone for a run 3 nights in a row since being home, and even had a really cool experience tonight ( ask me?)

My favourite thing to do, I did last night. My best friend and I walked down to our faaavourite fast food restraunt and epic indulged. then, off to dollarama and zehrs. how lame does that sound eh? we used to do that weekly.

(Gbones, you serious about running? if you find a route; want a running partner?!)

Ive come to discover a strange love for my life in peterborough, but not peterborough itself. I feel at home and inlove in 2 places. The exact middle of nowhere (Hillsdale, for example) or a big bustly busy city (ottawa, toronto). Peterborough is an unhappy medium, as is Barrie. I love to wake up in Hillsdale and look out to the forest, and I love to wake up in Ottawa at my sisters place and see classy people running on cellphones and sipping starbucks (at any time of day)

But, I still congratulate myself. Ive come a long way from where I was this time last semester. I am head over heels in love…….

with my program choice ( gotcha! ahahahaha) and can only dream of 3 semesters down the road when I will be an actual Social Service Worker.

Okie dokie future, bring it on

fueling my happiness.

most mornings, i get an email in my inbox from “2009″ and i literally jump for joy.

i came across david horvitz a couple weeks ago, and every day he posts the best, most inspirational and motivating things to do.

check him out! some of the stuff ive done and journaled about. You dont need to sign up for his email updates necessarily. he also posts them on his tumbrl thing.
enjoy!

http://davidhorvitz.tumblr.com/