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Sitting in psych class yesterday we started talking about marraige and the currents trends that go with it. My entire class, all fourty of them decided there was no point of getting married and that in the next ten years marraige will be ruled out. They think currently marraige is just a chance to have children and expand the population and that most people go onto marraige knowing divorce is an option..kind of..a safe place. In Ontario in 2003 there were 27513 divorces, in Nunavat..there were 3!!
That scares me. Most of my family has been divorced..alot of my friends families are divorced. I want to fall inlove and be assured that I’ll be with forever. That im in it for the love, not for the sake of population expansion, or anything else.

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2 Comments

  1. Hey Sare….

    I totally agree..marriage is something that society has offered us an “get out of jail free card” to in the form of divorce. I don’t think it’s only a matter of “staying in love forever” though. I’m sure many couple that stay married for their entire lives go through many of the exact same struggles and doubts that divorced couples have gone through. A big difference I think is perserverance and patience. The decsion to get married is not one to be made lightly, and one that needs enormous amounts of thought and prayer, as it is one of the biggest if not THE biggest decision a person can make. I think many jump into that decision prematurely, end up marriued before they really know each other, and end up divorced. Once this decision has be made it can’t be, or shouldn’t be, taken back, so we all need to make it smartly.

    The second difference I think between married and divorced couples perserverance. The bottom line is, marriage is a sacred union before God. It’s not something meant to be taken lightly or as an “option”. Biblically it’s the bonding of two people that is so great and mysterious it is only surpassed by the relationship between an individal and God, there is nothing else that even comes close. In any relationship people will disagree, people will fight, people will hurt each other, people will disappoint and let each other down. It’s just a fact, there’s not one of us thats perfect. It just comes down to who chooses to perservere through these things and who doesn’t. For those who do, the relationship is almost always made stronger in the end.

    There are exceptions, even biblically. Adultery is one, and I’m not sure if abuse is a biblical cause for divorce but I think if a person values another so little they are not worthy to be in a married relationship. But people get divorced for less than that more often than not. Things may get tough, but once you put down those vows before God, we are called to stick to them though thick and thin, no matter what.

    When you fall in love, there are times you may think the passion has faded. Thats why Ilike the hebrew definition of love. It breaks love down into three words. The first describes physical love, or sexual love, the second describes friend or companion love, the third describes the love of committment. Sexual love will eventually fade, especially when we all get old and gross. And there are times we are absolutely furious at even the best of our friends and companions, including our spouses. But committment is something that we choose to do, and something that doesnt ever have to fade, even in the face of severe trials between two people. It’s something that isn’t based in emotion, and can exist whether we are happy or sad, whether there is fire in our hearts or not, and is something we never have to lose. Its something that people who get divorced make the concious decision to give up (as I said, there are allowable exceptions for sure). This kind of love endures.

    As for “They think currently marraige is just a chance to have children and expand the population …” umm….don’t people have babies whether or not they are married?? I would argue that diviorce, which has made things easier for adultery and casual sex has increased global birth rate. Teen pregnancy on the rise much? Most teens don’t seem to care whether they are married or not before they make decisions that leave them with kids. Has global population bloomed or declined since divorce has becme popular? I’m pretty sure your class has it a bit backwards…maybe they should think things through a bit more…

  2. i agreee sare! lots of people are scared of getting married i think. because they seem to have this idea in their heads that marriage is like jail .. they dont want to settle down cause they will have no fun anymore. and then there are people who think that marriage is okay cause they know they can always get a divorce if things go wrong.

    but then there are people who whoe heartedly believe in marriage. they believe in love, they believe in staying with the same person forever.. they like the butterflies they get in their stomachs when they see that one person and they know thoe butterflies will still be there in 5, 10, 15, 40 years.. they are the people who are not afraid of marriage.. they want to marry someone and stay with them.

    if you want a marriage that will last, and you want to be assured that you can fall inlove forever.. you need to make it happen. life is what you make it bb. find someone who loves you for you and gets the butterflies when they see you. find someone who gives you butterflies. someone who makes you smile when you feel like staying in bed under the covers all day. find someone that you can tlak to about anything.. you dont get embarassed in front of them. it may take a while to find that person cause they are very good at hiding. although sometimes they are closer then you tihink. bt when you find that person you will know who they are and you will be able to feel it. you will know that you can last forever with them. youll just know.

    until then.. i love you bb. im always here for you whenever you need to talk.. if you feel like having a heart to heart..c all me up. im here.


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