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title speaks truth. i think this is possibly one of my saddest moments in life. Possibly an exageration that i’ll look back on and tell myself i was ridiculous for saying that, but im not feelin happy, and I feel like im prayin to nothing but my empty bedroom.  In the process of trying to get a good friend back. Instead of beating around the bush, i am going to say its jeff. An exgirlfriend exboyfriend friendship is something ive never tried at before. My last one, we were friends for about a week then gave up. I dont want to do this with Jeff, for some reason I can’t let this friendship go. Its not going as planned and its incredibley hard. Hoping to take 2 weeks away from facebooking, emailing texting msning and talking to eachother while im in Alberta. I need to take some time, and just wipe my past away. Its not coming so easy for me. Ive noticed that, although im not clingy, i am in love with being in love. Having someone on your heart and being able to look up and smile at and call them yours excites me and its something i miss, and its making me absolutley miserable. Im finding myself jealous of my friends and awkward to be around them and their significant others. and yes, i do realize im acting immature about this. I cant stop how im feelin i suppose.
I let myself go to far with a crush. Ive done all I can do and now it almost feels like im wasting time. I have no problem with distance and no problem waiting for someone… but this is starting to hurt.

alberta friday morning. cant wait to see that luke blackman kid again. Should be the 2 most refreshing weeks ive had in a long time.

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