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Complete and total adoration,
My gift to you, my heart was yours,
In ten weeks you shaped it,
In one night you murdered it.
Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,
That first step you took was the worst.
Since then you’ve walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark,
And I still have these memories,
But we’ll never see what we could have been.
Remember when we talked about where we’d be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you’d never let it go?
Remember, cause that’s all you can do.
We’ll never make another memory,
We’ll never make another memory.
I wish I’d have died in your arms the last time we were together,
So I wouldn’t have to wake without you today.
This time I thought things were real,
You said they were,
What happened?
You were a priority,
Was I an option?
I let you see a side of me that I don’t share with anyone.
Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.
Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,
I’m sorry that it wasn’t enough.
So, we’ll go our own ways,
And hopefully you’ll remember the things I’ve told you,
Hopefully you’ll understand that everything I said was in sincerity.
A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,
But I guess I’ve learned from it.
But aren’t you supposed to learn from your mistakes?
I don’t consider this a mistake,
I just wish the story didn’t end this way,
Cause I’m still in love with the person who helped me write it.
Remember when you held my hand like you’d never let it go?
Remember when we talked about where we’d be a year from now?

– across five aprils


did you say it? ‘i love you. i don’t ever want to live without you. you changed my life.’ did you say it? make a plan. set a goal. work toward it, but every now and then, look around; drink it in ’cause this is it. it might all be gone tomorrow.
-grey’s anatomy

Have you ever felt that “blah” feeling, and really need to vent and rant

but dont feel like blogging?

im sorry. ill still make some videos and update, but with school, travelling to 2 ends of the country this summer, my best friend getting married in september and everything else, may just turned into one crazy month.


im sorry. 😦

in my defence i took a tour of the kawarthas yesterday (pretty much) then got home late, and then went out with my friends. there was no time for a may 8th post.

so… may eighth, IM HOME! 🙂

Tech Support: Hello … how can I help you? 

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided to install
Love. Can you guide me through the process? 

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I’m not very technical, but I think I’m ready. What do I do first? 

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you
located your Heart? 

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now.
Is it okay to install Love while they are running? 

Tech Support:
What programs are running ? 

Customer: Let’s see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge
and Resentment running right now. 

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt
from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent
memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will
eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High
Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and
Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed.
Can you turn those off ? 

Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke
Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and
Resentment have been completely erased. 

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base
program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get
the upgrades. 

Oops! I have an error message already. It says, “Error
– Program not run on external components.” What should I do?

Tech Support: Don’t worry. It means that the Love program is set
up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In
non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before
you can Love others. 

Customer: So, what should I do? 

Tech Support:
Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the
following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the “My Heart” directory. The
system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty
programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all
directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely
gone and never comes back. 

Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files.
Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying
themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal? 

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but
eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed
and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure
to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in
turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

some inspiration. hope you like 🙂

Sometimes you look outside and all you see is grey, sometimes you wonder if you’re sick inside, if all that trash on the side of the road is seeping into you and making your head hurt. Migraines are just a symptom, just veins constricting and making the edges of your vision blur. Taking pills doesn’t help. Sometimes it helps just to stare into the sun for a while, maybe it hurts but its a different sort of pain, your corneas can take it.

Blow warm air into your cold red fingers, knowing this is the same air that’s been breathed for thousands of years, only it keeps getting dirtier. We’ve all got roots somewhere though and as long as you keep them wet they’ll keep growing, reaching down into the earth past all the lead and hydrocarbons and finding some sustenance down there somewhere.

Even when it seems like we keep making the earth smaller with all our advances, with all our technology that just gives people an excuse to stay further and further away. They’ll keep laying down that pavement but it’s more corruptible than our hearts, if you keep pushing it’ll give way. Sometimes pushing makes your head hurt too, but don’t ever stop. Keep reaching for the sunlight and counting the stars you can still see.

Maybe if you scream loud enough someone somewhere will hear you, and join in. All the tunnels under the earth will ring with it and we’ll wake up the worms, and they’ll scream too.

If you sit in the woods at night you can hear the trees groaning. Press your lips to the bark and say “I’m sorry, tree, everything is going to be ok”, even if everything’s not, and just let your forehead rest there for a while. Try counting the stars again “one, two, three, four… five? six?”, just don’t give up.

Falling in love is rebellion so you should just love everything as hard as you can.
-written by flo isoceles.

so i started making a video for today because it was monumental (totally not the correct word but..oh well) because now my blogs and vlogs are actually going to be on the correct day! YAAAY! but i have to move today. Im living in a non airconditioned building right now so im being moved over to an air conditioned one. i dont know how its going to fair out making videos in my new place with new roomates (aside from tiegaan) but ill see what i can do!

how was your weekend? I went to ottawa and quebec to celebrate my big sissy turning 22! shes an oldie! haha.

HOPEFULLY i can make a video tomorrow before my classes get started on wednesday&thursday. im sorry this was so lame

much love though! ❤

I know i know, its may second. i promise on monday my blogs will be all normal and i will be posting on the appropriate day. promise! and monday i think will be a vlog day. i already have half of it filmed : )

so you know what im reaaallly peeved by?
the swine flu hype.

59% of women in africa have aids
there are 11.6 million cases of aids in infants
36.1 million people suffer from aids in north america
in suffering and third world countries, 9.7 million people are in need of immediate attention and medication for aids, yet only 3 million people are receiving it.

the swine flu is just as fatal as aids, people are saying. but like sars, bird flu, anthrax and every other pandemic our world has suffered, its blown over, and aids has been in the full eye of the media since 1981. so if your afraid of just one little curable flu, are you that terrified of aids aswell? aids reaches to more countries than the swine flu.

call me a hypocrite, say im being stupid, whatever. i think this is just silly. take off your blue germ mask, your fine. we live in the land of free health care.

this is thee most serious post has ever seen.
we will return to normal broadcasting starting monday. au revoir!